Grief, Loss, And The Power Of Reframing

December has been a bittersweet time of year for me for over a decade now.

11 years ago (this weekend actually) my mum sadly passed away in a tragic accident. She lived alone, and one cold December night she went out to the car to collect something. On her way back to the house, she slipped, knocked herself unconscious, and suffered hypothermia. She was wearing nothing but her nightie and slippers. It was sudden, shocking, and something no family is ever prepared for.

I’ve also experienced the near-loss of my dad during December. He was hospitalised, and for a time we didn’t know if he was going to pull through. Thankfully, he is still with us - but his cognitive function is no longer what it once was due to dementia. In many ways, that brings its own kind of grief too: watching someone you love slowly change while still being physically present.

Because of these experiences, my subconscious has come to associate this time of year with loss, grief, and uncertainty - and that’s an important thing to acknowledge.

Our minds are incredibly good at forming associations. When something painful happens repeatedly - or when intense emotion is tied to a particular time, place, or season - those feelings can replay themselves year after year.

The body remembers. The nervous system remembers.

And it becomes completely understandable why someone might feel low, anxious, heavy, or disconnected at certain times of the year.

There is nothing “wrong” with that. But there is another option.

When Emotion Becomes the Pattern

If we feel negative about something long enough, those thoughts and emotions can loop. They become familiar. Predictable. Almost normal.

This is often how limiting beliefs are formed - not through logic, but through repetition and emotional imprinting.

While we may not be able to change what happened, we can change how it is stored and experienced within us. And that’s where reframing comes in.

From Mourning to Meaning

Reframing doesn’t mean bypassing grief or pretending pain doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean forcing positivity or “being strong.”It means choosing a different lens.

Rather than seeing December as a time of mourning, I am choosing to see it as a time of remembrance and celebration.

Celebration of:

• Who my mum was

• How she made people feel

• The love she gave

• The values she lived by

• The ways she helped others

• The impact she had on my life

When we shift the focus from how someone died to how they lived, something softens inside us.

Grief doesn’t disappear - but it changes shape.

And even in times of loss or lack, there is still space for gratitude. Gratitude for what we did and do have. Gratitude for the time we shared with loved ones. Gratitude for the lessons learned, the love experienced, and the memories that remain.

Choosing a New Emotional Direction

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been on a journey of my own.

A journey of self-reflection, healing, and conscious choice - and one that also began in December with my decision to live an alcohol-free life.

Rather than allowing December to be defined solely by the past, I am choosing to redefine it in the present. I’m choosing to celebrate:

• The people around me

• The roof over my head

• The paths I’ve consciously chosen to tread

• The clarity I’ve gained

• The growth I’ve experienced

I’m also choosing to honour this time of year by launching a new venture that brings together things that matter deeply to me:

Business and humanity. Connection, communication, resilience, and wellbeing.

In a way, it feels like a continuation of what my mum stood for - care, compassion, and helping others - just expressed through a different medium.

A Gentle Invitation

If you find certain times of year difficult… If anniversaries bring up emotions you can’t quite explain… If your body reacts before your mind catches up…

Know that you’re not broken - and you are certainly not alone.

These patterns were learned - and what is learned can be gently re-coded.

It’s not about erasing the past. It’s about changing how it lives within you.

And sometimes, the most powerful shift begins with a single choice: to honour or accept what was, to be grateful for what is, and to allow yourself to make positive changes that help determine what will be.

Sending love and well wishes to all x